"Straight couples may have a lot to learn from gay and lesbian ...

CNN is offering helpful advice to we heterosexuals:

Couples of all orientations find themselves struggling with the same issues, from mismatched libidos to sex ruts to infidelity. ?The underlying dynamics are identical,? says Emily Nagoski, sex educator and author of "A Scientific Guide to Successful Relationships."

?They may play out differently because of the differences in gender or because of external social pressures, but the rules are the same ? and there's some clear indications that gay couples are actually better at following those rules than straight couples!?

Nagoski pointed me to a?12-year study of same-sex couples?by eminent marriage therapist Dr. John Gottman, which concluded that all couple types - straight or gay - have many of the same issues and the same paths to staying happy together.

But Gottman?s research also indicated that gay/lesbian couples are more upbeat in the face of conflict and, compared to straight couples, use more affection and humor when they bring up a disagreement.

"When it comes to emotions, we think these couples may operate with very different principles than straight couples,? says Gottman. ?Straight couples may have a lot to learn from gay and lesbian relationships."

Studies suggest, for instance, that gay male couples tend to have sex more often than any other type of couples, while lesbian couples tend to have the least amount of sex. Since women often value emotional intimacy over sexual intimacy, low sex drive may not be a concern.

Likewise, two men who have strong libidos may be able to accommodate their sexual desires within an open relationship.

?A number of my gay clients prefer to be sexually open but emotionally monogamous,? says sex and relationship therapist?Joe Kort. ?They can have lovers on the side and not have it be a threat to the relationship.?

Being sexually open with lovers on the side is something straight couples ought to learn from gay and lesbian relationships as it leads to happiness together.

These same gay and lesbians who apparently think it wise, presumably, to be married and who think this redefinition of the term are simply being prudish, backwards, intolerant and bigoted.

So. Much. To. Learn.

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